Wednesday, February 01, 2006
:currently: back in the city, up late [as usual]
:listenin to: "..i want to be none less than wifey. you half-ass at the rest, but you watch your step with me ..." [caught up ~ teedra.moses]
:feelin like: i want to rewind time back to that moment where she let her guard down and finally 'saw what my lips feel like..' it was strangely unfamiliar territory but for some reason i didn't run away. maybe if it feels different it will BE different.
:thinkin about: ♥ the inspiration to my lyrics ♥ maybe you & i can just be friends that understand each other. even if we bicker sometimes, maybe we can still remain constant. maybe time will stand still when we are apart. maybe we will only feel fully alive in each other's presence. maybe it will be our priority to keep one other pleasant and [compLetELy] satisfied -no matter WHAT- maybe you will lose sleep if we 'aint right'. if you say something, maybe you will actually make it happen just like you said.... maybe we will want nothing from each other but to be in our own atmosphere[together] ... i don't want to resent .LovE. for the people that i have had in my life's past. i want to give it a fair chance no matter what. even though i know what time it is, i still wanna be caught up [just like that tEEdra song says] i will try not to do anything the same way i've done it before.
:wishin: couldn't possibly wish for anything right now... i have all that i need.. i am all that i have.. all that is FOR me, will be eventuaLLy MINE.
:reflectin on: how good God is. no matter what problems or situations that are thrown my way, i can't ever forget how magnificent God is in my life. in all my craziness, in all the times that i have 'failed' Him, in all the mistakes that i make over & over again, He is the one that has been a strong force. slowly [and gently] teaching me how to live live the way He has planned for me.
:lovin: my cypher. those that are involved in my daily rituals [you know who you are] my days cant ever be complete without you and i thank you for thinkin' of me when i know you have tons of other things to think about. i truLy love and cherish your presence in my life
:learnin: that change is good.... move with it... accept it even if it doesn't make 'sense' to you. stop asking 'WHY?' and just DO what you gotta do based on the information you already have [since it is usually enough already]
:livin:... life the best way i know how. 1 day at a time. 1 smile at a time. 1 word at a time.. takin' it very slow.. thinkin before i speak [a daily struggle] laughin' at my mistakes to make them right.
lovEmELodE composed these lyrics on Wednesday, February 01, 2006
linK mY bLoG
Saturday, December 03, 2005
:currently: @ my desk & slowly getting back into blog-mode
:listening 2: 'that's the way love goes' by norman brown
:feeling like: i'm livin' SUCH a charmed life.. [thank u God]
:thinkin about: how much administrative shit i have to do before the year is over.. [ugh!!!] i'm almost 30! [the new '20'..LoL]
:wishin: that this world wasn't full of crazy [psycho] people that do not love themselves so much, that they insist [directly or indirectly] on making other people's lives miserable
:reflecting on: the endless possibilities that are in .LovE. the constant learning and re-learning that is involved in obtaining it [if ever] the slippery little fingers we all get when we try to hold on to it [for dear life]. the convenient amnesia [regarding past hurt] that takes over when it comes INto our space.
:lovin: the slow [but sure] spiritual genesis [if u will] that i'm going thru. seems like most of what i thought i knew, i had a lot more to learn about...[still do] it's the most refreshing fEeLing to evolve in this way. to be at peace with those things in [or OUT] of our lives that we have no actual .LovE. for [it's alright] don't mean u have to waste spiritual energy [to the point of your own detriment] have grown into this ILL internal place of pEacE. it is a warm blanket for my fragile E.motionaLities... [yEs, my own word] i was so free to give them away before... i am now a lot more selective as to what will penetrate into my skin. [very selective] i'm learning to separate the intensity from the anger and turn it into [productive] passion. learning how to be calculating before proceeding. treating my tears as if they were my diamonds of .LifE. [not wasting them no more]
:learning: to reeeeeally rELax, rELate, and rELease.... achieve zen even when it seems impossible. to counter-act all negative energy[chi] that comes into direct contact with me. 2 approach obstacles as low hurdles instead of road-blocks [it CAN be easy even tho' it's so damn hard right now] nothing in life is final, everything is an on-going work in progress . . . . . . . [till we die that is] never look at a mortal with immortal vision. for guaranteed satisfaction, only see eternity in God's eyes.
:experiencing: life on .LifE.'s terms... forgiveness of my [own] trespasses and trespassors alike.
:shedding: fear, regret, insecurity, resentment, anger
~::~experiencing pain, not allowing it to experience me~::~
/randomLy mE/
» i must say that i saw a great episode of oprah on thursday [sorry summer m... LoL] true indeed i'm very biased considering the subject matter... still, i really have to take a moment to acknowledge the shock i was in when i learned of a disease called Fistula in my native homeland of Ethiopia and the remarkable dr. Catherine Hamlin [80 yrs old] that pioneered the cure over 40 years ago [and STILL performs the delicate operations today!] in short, obstetric fistula is a severe childbirth injury that plagues many young women all over the world [more than 2 million] it is caused by the loss of blood supply to the rectal, bladder and/or vaginal tissues due to prolonged and neglected child labor. this loss of blood causes the surrounding tissue to die and a hole to develop where urine and other waste can pass thru uncontrollably. [deep sigh] it broke my heart into a million pieces when i saw the pain and embarrassment in the beautiful deep-set eyes of those women. i can't even really get into it on here as much as i would probably like to. it is way too emotional and i much rather DO something about it instead... stay tuned for a fund-raiser that you WILL be donating to [to learn more about Fistula... do your own homework] thank you for reading me!!! «
¥ oprah in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia ¥ [ok... so i was pressed .. AND???]
awww!! liya is so cute with her belly... she's having baby #2!! i waaant ooooone!!!!!
» details on what i been up to ... coming up soon.. happy weekend!!!!
[a wise one once said...]
"If you're going through hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill
"What is required for effective change is continuity of sincere effort to release and let go of inefficient thought patterns from the past... Sincerity involves a deeper heart and a commitment to the task." -Doc Childre
lovEmELodE composed these lyrics on Saturday, December 03, 2005
linK mY bLoG
